how stupid is we...

new messages from Osama...
and Bushies press lackey gets paid
to say shit like,
"we'll end this war at a time
and place of our choosing..."
well, choose a time and place, fuckers...
i've got some shock and awe
at what we've become as a nation...
Dick Cheney, FIVE deferrments during Vietnam...
he had "other priorities"...
who are these people!!!!
oh yeah, the rich and powerful...
smart dont matter, it'll only get you drummed out
like Colin Powell...

i always wondered why we were taught in school
that America was the pinnacle of culture and civilisation...
they all rise and fall, a cycle it is...
we are falling, some may even say fallen...
i suggest we all go out and spend money we dont have,
kill anyone who we think is a threat (to anything, it don't matter),
and tap all our neighbors forms of communication....
when they come for you
you can just say, "TRUST ME..."
wait, we do that already.......

ahh well, i do have an idea....
the time and place of our choosing should be...........
halftime at the Super Bowl......
yes yes yes....
i see a dance routine,
with Saddam, seriosly fucked up on the CIA's finest good time shit,
and Condaleeza Rice.........
there will of course be a wardrobe malfunction with Condi,
at the hands of an Evildoer, obviosly our one time bud Saddam...
who will save our damsel, our virtue, our compassionate conservatism???
have no fear, the Coors twins are here!!!!
yes, they'll jump up, silicone breasts gleaming under the stadium lights,
and blow Saddam's head to kingdom come
with a couple of twin .50 caliber machine guns.....
rock and roll...
dude, that was so fucking cool!!!!
just like a video game, man.......
those chicks are so hot...

where are we???

teach your children well,
no one else will....................

ah, bloody hell, is that my spleen on the floor???
nah, just me bleedin' heart...............

take care,
erik

ruminations...

so as the year 2005 has become a shrinking speck in the rearview of life, and 2006 has
marched across all time zones in it's path, it's time for some ruminating...
maybe not illumination, but rrrrrrumination in rrrrrrambling mode...
having had a baby in the house for the past year, our youngest will turn two in this new year...
we'll start giving her age in years, being somewhat practical parents (ha ha ha)...
we'll dispense with the 16, 19, 22 month aging scale in favor of of yearly increments...
she'll be 2, you know... it is a personal irk of mine when i hear people say,
"oh, he's 29 months" or "she'll be 36 months in a week"...
you mean three???
me, i'm set to turn whatever the hell 12 times 40, or 40 times 12 is...
hmmm, maybe i'll start doing that...
"so how old are you Erik?"
"uh, i'm uh..."
jeez, i'll have to bust out the calculator for that one i must admit...
no wait, i can do that, shouldn't be that hard...
12 x 10 is 120... 120 x 4 is 480... snapping of fingers...
wouldn't it be spectac... wait... 48... 12 x 4 is 48... DUH... good god...
that all just happened in my leaky cranium, real time...
as a youngin', i had trouble with math...
and then, when i fulfilled my destiny and became a waiter,
i became a wizard of percentages... oh yes...
and it was like this magic door opened,
and numerik clarity befell me...
i can give you the percentage for anything...
multiplication... ahhh, i might have to walk a bit slower there...
the room is still a bit dark...
but anyhow, 12 x 40...
so yeah, i'm 480 months old this year...
whoo-hah...
back to the baby....
there are times in that early early stage
where it 's pure innocence...
and you wish that you could freeze them in that age....
you'd deal with the diapers...
it's fine, you know...
but then, of course, there are times when 5 and 7 year olds
can be very trying and exasperating as they find
that they can set limits too....
and the eternal struggle begins!!! blah hah hah hah hah....
at the same time, they'll come ask you questions,
or bring home books from school that just...
take you back...
and you realize that wonderful relationship
that you've been given....
and then there's Christmas...
slot car sets.... mmmm yeah...
no nascar garbage for this abode, mind you...
a gift for our son as much as myself you could say...
007... Bond, James Bond baby...
with an Aston Martin and a green Jaguar convertible...
the Jag has a bald driver we've dubbed Dr. Evil...
that's me...
also grabbed a pair Mini Coopers to expand the fun...
my anticipation in giving this gift
was tempered with the knowledge
that there would be some initial frustration....
i wasn't that drunk on holiday bliss...
no, i knew there would be that period
where they'd have trouble keeping control of the cars
and it would just piss them off...
transitional waters and all...
but it only took just over a day
until we were all zipping the loops
and hitting the banked turns with confidence...
ahhh... the child unlocks the inner child...
that's a precious thing...

RUMINATIONS, THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT...

and for the first child, my Molly...
she got a real digital camera...
she had one before that you would have found
in the checkout aisle of a mal wart
or some such peddler of trashy wares...
it predictably died in under two weeks...
Neil Young wrote that song, "Piece of Crap"...
so anyhow, someone at work was stepping up
the old megapixel ladder as it were
and had a nice Canon to pass along at a fine price...
this person, possibly being more anal than even myself,
passed along the camera, software and manuals
in the original box... even the Spanish manual was there...
they saved it all...
she loves it!!!
such an awesome form of expression,
which she needed so badly...
i'm sure many parents can identify with that
period of time where their children haven't found
something to dive into and immerse themselves in,
to educate AND express themselves with...
and i know that she's going to take 2 million
pictures of her dolls....
but with digital, it doesn't matter!!!
and she won't bankrupt me with
film processing costs...
AND, she can be the official photographer
for the Corduroy Couch!!!
now there's an idea....

ahhh, it was a good Christmas
and a good year...
all i can hope is to be blessed again
in this New Year...
and hopefully be able to surf more this year too!!!

au revoir world at large,
au revoir...

erik